third day in the chinese new year~

moodless..

i hate myself..
why i will like tat?
why i cannot be close with them..
who also cannot..
why my heart so "chicken"?
i will think it is "er xin"..
why~???
why i always need to "leng jing"?
that is my wrong or....?
why??
can u tell me?

today..
i din go anywhere..
my uncle and his future "lao po" and my brother..
go out..
watch movie..
why i don want go?
cuz i "cannot be close with them.."
friend also..

all ppl unhappy..
that's my wrong..(i think)
why my heart cannot "jie shou" them?
I scared her..
i "bu gan" face to face with her..
scary.................................

i hate myself !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!